i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
