i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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