We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
