Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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