I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
