So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
