Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize