Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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