So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I will be naked everywhere
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
