I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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