just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
