You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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