I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I party with great urgency now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
