The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
