I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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