Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
