I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
