scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
