ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
