I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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