It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
