We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
