He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
