I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
