Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
