Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
