I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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