I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
