She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
