i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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