Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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