idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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