its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
