And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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