then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
nutella sex= disaster
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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