porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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