And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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