just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i believe in u and ur pee
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
