I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
