just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
