Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
