Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize