Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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