I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
