maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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