Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.