Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
They have beer where we have blood.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."