Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Is it because I queefed?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
