He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize