did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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