We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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