Duck Duck Cougar?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
