atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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