He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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