4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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