I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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