I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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